Second, think through where your feelings are coming from. Hey, partners who troubleshoot anxiety together stay together. “If they care about you, they’re going to want to do anything in their power to make you more comfortable,” she says. The simple act of speaking up can help ease your fears. And while you should never (ever!) feel pressured to try any position that makes you anxious, if you enjoy both receiving and giving oral, Finn encourages you to do two things:įirst, talk to your partner about your nerves. Oral-sex stimulators like the Fleshlight Quick Shot or the Svakom Cookie can help mimic the sensation of receiving head, she says.Ĭomplaint #4: “I feel anxious about being that ‘exposed’”Īnxiety is basically the antithesis of pleasure, no matter the position. It can make giving and receiving oral so much fun.” She suggests this one from Amazon. “The bigger-bodied person can sit in the swing, which will help spread their thighs, and their partner can kneel between their legs and lick. If not, she says you might try a sex swing or sex sling. “And the straps help keep my thighs open to give my partner better access to my bits.” When I’m the partner on top while 69ing, sitting on this chair over my partner’s face can help support my body weight and take some of the strain off my knees,” she says. “I’m a plus-sized person and have some knee problems (unrelated to my weight). Her biggest piece of advice? Embrace pleasure products as pleasure enhancers.įor instance, she’s a fan of using a positioning chair, like this one on Amazon. And if you have a penis, a penis stroker like the Tenga Onacup is great,” Taylor says.Ĭomplaint #3: “It doesn’t work because I’m bigger-bodied”īody-positive sex educator Carly S with The Pleasure Chest has got a PSA for bigger-bodied folks: “Mutual oral is absolutely available to you and your partner(s), if you want it to be.” “If you have a vulva, the Womanizer or Satisfyer Air Pulse Stimulator can work.

Taylor recommends the Magic Wand or Le Wand Petite, which is less bulky.Īnd if your bits are still not aligned, no matter how much you try to make it work, why not have one partner use an oral sex stimulator on themselves as they give their partner head? “It may look more like a C+I, but if it works, who cares?!” True that.Īnother option: Incorporate a toy with a long-ass handle (and lube). This position turns both partners on their sides, allowing the taller partner to bend their body to make their junk more accessible to the shorter partner, she says. “Having the taller partner be on bottom and stack pillows, blankets, or a sex wedge under their hips can help contort their body so that their junk is in reach of the shorter partner’s mouth,” says Finn. As Finn says, “If someone is 4′11″ and their partner 6′2″, the classic 69 isn’t going to work.” Still, there are ways to make it work as long as you’re not committed to making that very specific 69 shape. Yep, that’s the lingo someone used to tell me that certain height combos make 69ing impossible.Īdmittedly, some height combos won’t work. Bonus points!Ĭomplaint #2: “My partner is a baby tootsie roll, and I’m a regular tootsie roll” “Moaning gives you the extra benefit of mouth-made vibration on your partner’s junk,” says Finn. If forming words is too hard when you’re being sucked off, moan instead. “You might not easily get eye contact with 69ing, but there are other ways to create that intimacy with words and sounds.” Once you’re there, Lisa Finn, a sex educator at sex toy emporium Babeland, suggests taking a minute to tell your partner how good it feels or how much you love tasting them. Start with kissing, make eye contact, fondle each other, and maybe start in missionary oral before one person does a 180 with their body. Make sure you’re in an atmosphere of intimacy before arranging your bodies like freaky digits. Instead, Taylor’s advice starts with creating a mood. If you’re getting into the position mechanically, of course it’s going to feel un-intimate.” So, if it’s in your head that 69ing is as intimate as speculum insertion, consider how you’re approaching it.Īs pleasure-based sex educator and sex-positivity advocate Lateef Taylor says, “69ing is not a position in a football game. But one person described the feeling as, “If I wanted to be touched with that little intimacy, I’d make an appointment with the gyno.” Listen, you’ve got someone’s genitals in your mouth… in my honest opinion, that’s some pretty intimate business. Share on Pinterest Design by Dana Davenport

69 sexual position